Here I am, first time in my life,
With my pen and paper
And little numb eyes.
Pain, yes I have,
Coz that’s all you left with me,
Rest all you took back
If that’s so, then so it be.
You think you hit me well,
But no you are wrong.
It was me, who did this,
To myself all along.
I loved you, I wanted you.
I let myself get close to you.
I dreamt of you, I waited for you.
I let myself get built for you.
And now that you’re gone,
You left me all alone.
No you didn’t hit me well,
I’m just accident prone.
I hurt myself, and I do not regret.
At least I didn’t let you do this to me.
I don’t have to blame you
Coz this is how it’s got to be.
You hate me or love me,
Now I don’t care
Coz I’m face to face now
With my feelings all bare.
I know what I want,
And it's not just you
I hate you, I hate you,
And I’ll always do.
For f***in’ and faking,
And saying ‘I do’.
Each time you told me ‘I love you too’.
And now you want me to cry,
And wail and shout.
And beg you to stop and turn around.
But I’m not gonna do that
Coz that’s what you want.
But now I’ve come to know
You’re not where I belong.
You think you hit me well,
But no you are wrong.
It was me, who did this,
To myself all along.
And now I love,
To stand in the rain.
Coz that is what eases the pain.
When the wind and the water
Cut across my face.
I feel high, I feel elated.
I’m losing base.
I don’t have to think of you
My memories are washed away.
My past is trying to follow me
And it’s losing the race.
I want you to see me
Coz I’m happy this way.
I hate all colors now
It’s all black, white and grey.
I want you to know that
I’m happy this way.
You always thought without you
I’d just go astray.
I don’t need you, but I always did.
It’s just me and my life now,
And 'A river of memories' which were well.
I’ve stopped singing your song ……
You always thought you hit me well,
But no you were wrong.
It was me who did this
To myself all along.
When my wounds get dry
And the blood stops pouring,
I prick them again
Or the scene would be boring.
So I look at your pictures, the cards
Until I bleed again
And my wounds are soaring.
I know we fought a lot,
And fights were the only thing in our relation.
And really, now it’s the time for celebration
Because finally, I’m out of that pathetic situation.
You thought I’d lose it all
I’d lose this chase.
But now I want to see
The look, on your face.
When you see me happy
Right in front of your eyes
I’m a free bird now
Unbound by all ties.
But you’re still the same
The loser, the coward.
Who couldn’t accept a truth.
Who never had no power.
You know you don’t have
The strength to face me
Or look into my eyes
So, you say you hate me.
You’re a cheater, a liar.
And you still thought you could take me.
I pity your thoughts
If you think I’m sad.
I’m just trying to upturn
The feelings I had.
So don’t think I’m ever
Gonna love you again.
You could never be in the place
Where I belong.
And if you still think you hit me well
I’m sorry, you’re terribly wrong……..
I’m sorry if this poem hurts you
But that’s the only thing it’s meant to...
And let me answer your question today, ’Why there is no love?’
Because to be honest I always felt that ’You were a materialistic boy’
